40 weeks today

We’ve carried Baby to full term! 

Hospital bags packed, baby things ready, antenatal classes done, finally completed the hypnobirthing sessions too. I’m so ready to have this baby!

Have been getting more and more envious and anxious over the last weeks as picture after picture of babies from all the other moms in the antenatal class come through. 

Anticipation and excitement builds as I wonder when one of the most momentous events of my life will be!

But in the end I know that the little one will arrive at just the right moment, whenever she will be ready. 

Received a message from one of the French aunts:


The birth is the only blind date where you’re sure to meet the love of your life. 

Keeping actively occupied and going about business as usual is all I can do to avoid concentrating all my thoughts on expecting her arrival. 

Doesn’t help with people asking if baby’s here yet, or comments on how ‘tough’ it might be right now. 

For the record, I really Don’t feel terrible at all. In fact, I feel just fine and in good health. No excessive weight gain – just about 10 kilos – and don’t think baby’s too huge either so really, stop telling me I’m not fine unless I say so. 

Midwife I’d never even seen before at today’s appointment: “Is it just me, or do you also feel like you’ve been pregnant forever? It’s just that I keep seeing your name in our files.” Erm yes, I’ve had to carry this baby to full term as expected, which is now, and thanks for not telling me how I feel about myself. 

Booked a mani pedi for tomorrow because anyway I probably won’t be getting one for quite a while after…

June is here.

It’s my birthday.

I write this as I sit here on the morning of, in the calm, cool, quiet cocoon of our apartment by the water, watching the boats go by, the traffic streaming across the bridge and the occasional helicopter fly by, oblivious to everything else except their destinations.

But somehow it all feels so insignificant, even more than I normally feel about my birthdays. I don’t like making a big fuss and have always felt it was pointless celebrating getting older (what for?!), for which I have scars from the first time I tried holding a birthday party with friends to thank. I guess it’s self-preservation. A way to feel ok if no one remembers or even cares, and find joy and delight at the few who do.

But it seems that I’ve had plenty of reasons to celebrate my birthday in the last years – a lot to do with my other half, actually. He’s really given and shown me that there is so much to celebrate in life. Getting married, spending summer on the French Riviera, birthday surprises, photo book compilations… and just being together in general.

Once again, this year’s no different – there is so much to celebrate, especially with the upcoming birth of our child. Nothing else has really been on my mind except to prepare for this amazing and life-changing event, that when the focus is turned just for a moment to oneself, it all seems so pointless and mundane. Everything else blurs in comparison, seeming so unimportant and trivial.

As I look down at the huge lump rolling from side to side in my swollen belly, I am reminded of just how much our lives are going to change. The insurmountable joy, laughter, pain, anguish, worry, love and responsibility that must come with this cute little package; the feelings and thoughts I’ve never before experienced or will ever experience.

I am in awe, excitement and yet at the same time nervous and anxious about what is to come.

 

visualisation technique/ hypno birthing

I have been interested in hypno birthing since my yoga instructor mentioned it some time ago.

Been doing some research and watching some videos online, and am wondering if it is worth attending some classes though it is recommended starting at about 30/32 weeks, which I have passed by quite a bit.

I figure it’s kind of like a combination of the various techniques I’ve picked up through yoga and our antenatal classes?

I wonder if the doula we will meet tomorrow will have more insight.

what’s on my labour playlist

so – I have compiled a mix of what calms me, what makes me emotional, music I practice yoga to, light-listening pop that music snobs would scoff at but I usually enjoy…

What jumps out at me so far:

  • Yo-Yo Ma
  • Taylor Swift
  • Ed Sheeren
  • Michael Bublé
  • Justin Timberlake
  • Jay Chou
  • Train
  • Chris Botti
  • Maroon 5
  • Compilation of classical pieces
  • Jazzy stuff
  • Beach yoga music
  • Our wedding songs

I think the last bullet might be one of the keys to bringing back lots of beautiful memories for me.

Also perhaps our wedding photos and just a general compilation of our photos together might come in useful?

Now, maybe some movies to think about…