Parenthood

Parenthood: learning to do everything with one hand and some fingers – meals, making tea, opening a bottle of water, washing your hands…

Skills in Stealth Ninjahood are a strict requirement for the role. All manners of rolling over in every direction, contortion, standing from cross-legged/sleeping positions WITHOUT a bed squeak, bone crack or using your hands, as the arms are being trained by Baby Weights…

And please note that your baby will only fall asleep while you’re in the most uncomfortable, contorted position possible, and trying to adopt a more comfortable one thereafter is strictly forbidden as it results in one screaming, cranky baby, upset at being woken from her nap.

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