It has been a fruitful, momentous and insightful year for me.
From being absolutely clueless and indifferent about being engaged: How does this work? Why does anyone want to put themselves through this? Wait, but…hang on, what?! – I’ve never been one of those ‘fairytale-wedding’ girls… I’d in fact never thought I would ever have one. I think everyone was trying to tell me how I should feel more than anything else but that’s for another time…
…to a milestone birthday, passing of a longtime pet, numerous epiphanies with a wedding celebration each in the west and east, unimaginable joy from those celebrations…
and we’re now in November.
I have a lot on my mind and writing always keeps me sane.
Christmas is near!
For once in my life, I’ve been counting down to Christmas. I’ve never felt an ounce of excitement before but am now eagerly anticipating and have been counting down since last month. I used to think it was nuts that decorations go up from October but now, it’s hardly too early!
Christmas has felt special ever since we spent the last one just in each other’s company. No family or friends for once, just the 2 of us quietly with some good wine, a good home-cooked meal, our first Christmas tree, engaged to be married.
So this is what they meant about Christmas being special.
It really made me feel for the first time what Christmas means to a family. Not family by birth, but family through marriage. It is a very special feeling, to have someone choose to be there unconditionally for you for life. The material things don’t matter anymore; all that matters is that you both are together.
I fought for a long time against the idea of marriage but I can no longer imagine life without S.
“He is my rock,” I said.
In the past years he had balanced me out when I was stressed or afraid, there to guide me when I was lost, my comfort in storms and to hold me up when I was weak.
Maybe it all seems a little too romantic for now but I’m definitely looking forward to decorating the tree again this year and in such excitement at seeing all the Christmas decorations going up all around me. The malls have started playing Christmas carols too!